Proximity tends to kill bias.
– Pastor Winna Bosman
Proximity
My heart hurts, friends. My heart hurts that—for some reason—we find it so hard to simply love. To relish each other’s differences and find strength and beauty in those differences instead of allowing them to divide us.
Recently I had the opportunity to hear these words spoken by Pastor Winna Bosman from South Africa: “Proximity tends to kill bias.” The truth in those five words is astounding. It is so easy to hold our biased thoughts close when we are a step removed from those around us. But, as this young man continued to say, when we sit around a table it is harder to keep assumptions and presumptions at the forefront of our mind.
Why?
Because we are confronted with the hearts of those we are sitting with. We see them—not as a stereotype or bias—but as a person with emotions and experiences that have created a unique person unlike any other. And if we choose to listen—to truly listen—we will see what is really there, who they really are, not what we have assumed. Misconceptions are blown apart, unable to withstand the reality before us.
“Proximity tends to kill bias.” These words immediately bring to mind a dinner I had while in the United Arab Emirates. Around the dinner table sat a Greek, an Algerian, an Iraqi, an Egyptian, and an American (yours truly). Yet, as we talked, politics and border lines fell away.
The woman next to me from Greece became a new friend who laughed and shrieked with me as we plowed over the desert sand. The Iraqi reporter was simply a woman who longed to heal her country. The Algerian man showed gentleness and a desire to learn and be part of the conversation despite the language barrier.
Wise Words
We were all human beings with families, experiences, emotions, and a willingness to listen to each other. And because of that it no longer became about where we were from or how we might be perceived because of previous assumptions. Around the dinner table, we enjoyed each other as people and learned from each other. By releasing my heart and mind, my eyes were opened to many things I wouldn’t have otherwise known. It was a night I wouldn’t trade for anything, a night I will remember forever with people who I will remember and some who have become friends.
“Proximity tends to kill bias.”
Wise words—and worth remembering.
You can find Pastor Winna Bosman at Engedi Church located in West Michigan. Catch him here.
